We Need Spoons

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 at 10:29am

On our second day with Siddhi we have so much to do. We need to shop for 16 presents for Siddhi. She will receive one present for each of her birthdays until she is 18. Each present will be from India and will remind her of her heritage. Besides shopping we need to go to court to officially receive guardianship of Siddhi. This is going to be a fun day.

 

Before the day begins Damon and I decide to have some Indian breakfast. The hotel staff cooks us some fresh Masala Dosi. Basically the spiciest potatoes you can think of wrapped in some sort of baked tortilla type wrap. We love it but my upper lip is sweating. After breakfast we jump into the car. Our driver has been with us the whole time in Pune and now Damon has made a new friend. Damon doesn’t speak a lick of Hindi or Mahrati and yet somehow in his Damon-way he is able to communicate with our friend, the driver. Damon is also not afraid to shreik or to tell the driver that there is an oncoming bus that he should watch out for. The driver loves Damon. Everybody loves Damon. I am glad that Damon was able to come with every laugh he gives us. The driver takes us to the most expensive shops in Pune–which aren’t all that expensive. But when you have to buy 16 presents it gets to be overwhelming.

We walk into the first shop and I think I hear the register ca-ching. We are swarmed by a few sales associates. Somehow I am talked into looking at antique Indian jewelry. Thank God they have US prices on the jewelry because I am convinced I am looking in the wrong place. We ended up leaving unscathed but also a little poorer. We go to a second shop and before entering Damon asks the driver in English if the driver is receiving a cut from his brother since he is taking us to his brother’s shop. It isn’t really the driver’s brother’s shop. But the driver laughs anyway. I think he knows enough English to get the joke. I hold firm in the next shop and just spend a few dollars. Damon is had. He gets some nice things, but spends a little more than he thought he was going to. As we get back into the car Damon tells the driver, “Your brother says hello.” Everyone, including the driver begin laughing hysterically.

A little rest and then court. The courthouse is an amazing experience. It is a tall 9 story building and is crowded just like the streets. There is so much going on. The elevators are crammed with people. Siddhi is very nervous and a little restless. We make it to the 8th floor in an rickety elevator. There are so many people around. It is very loud. We meet some other western people who are also adopting. We all stick out in a very conspicuous way. All of the sudden we found ourselves in a conversation with a woman about our past, our reasons for adopting, how many children we have and what I do for a living. Just as quickly as the conversation started it ended and the woman was gone. The next thing I hear is my name called with a Hindi accent.

We are rushed into a courtroom. There are Indian people everywhere. I wonder what rolls they all play. There are no western formalities of standing and rising and sitting when the judge walks in. The judge is already there. Our lawyers are standing in the middle of the room. I can barely understand what is being said. The girl who was speaking with us outside about our personal history is now in the courtroom repeating the details to the judge. I probably would have responded differently to questions if I had known that this girl was also our lawyer.

A conversation begins between the judge and our lawyers. We are asked a few questions. Our religion and my occupation becomes a part of the equation. Not such a great thing when the judge is Hindu and we are in a Hindu country. The judge becomes concerned that the orphanage has allowed such a young baby to go to a non-Indian, Christian couple. Siddhi looks like an infant to many. When the judge finds out that Siddhi is almost two her tone changes a little bit but the concern stays. I am becoming a little nervous. The conversations continue. I start wondering if the judge will grant us custody. Then all of the sudden, just as quickly as we were brought in we are told we have custody.

I didn’t realize how hard my heart was beating until I leave the courtroom and I am handed Siddhi Betters’ passport. The other adoptive parents congratulate us. One of them looked a little emotional for us and was staring at our passport. As an adoptive parent you wait many months for this moment. Siddhi is smiling, the social workers are smiling and we are on our way out. The social workers cannot believe the difference in Siddhi in just 24 hours. The same girl who conducted the Hindu service is at the court with us representing the orphanage. Siddhi will not go to her. She clings to Laura. This is 180 degrees different than yesterday. The women are emotionally happy about how Siddhi has changed so much. She is a different baby.

Now it is time to say goodbye to our new friend Meenal who has helped us through the entire process in Pune. We have known her less than 24 hours and yet she has shared an incredible life experience with us. It is amazing at how much we are all alike regardless of where we were born or what language we speak.

Flying back to Delhi from Pune became an adventure. The airport felt more like a bus stop than a true airport. It seemed kind of strange to be in such a small place when we were taking such a big ride. Siddhi was leaving her place of birth and a whole other life behind and she didn’t even know it. Laura was a little sad as she thought about the implications of our flight from Pune back to Delhi. We could sit there and think about all of the things that could have been but this would be nonsensical. As humans we always like to think in terms of “what if”. What if Siddhi didn’t find a home? What if Siddhi stayed in Pune and went hungry? What if Siddhi went to a different family? What if Siddhi was alone the rest of her life? These are nonsensical questions! It is as if we are asking whether or not the color yellow is a circle or square. The Lord has plans for Siddhi. He always had plans for her. His plans involved our family. There are no “what if’s” with the God we serve. Little Siddhi didn’t care at all about the flight from Pune. She just wanted more food.

We didn’t have a spoon so that made things difficult. I went to the one tiny little snack shop they had in the whole airport. I bought a few items thinking that the man behind the counter would fulfill my request for a spoon. No such luck. He claimed he didn’t have any spoons. I went back dejected. Laura and I tried to make a spoon but Siddhi wasn’t tricked. She wanted her spoon to eat her cereal. She started to get agitated. Damon woke up from his sleep and went back to the same guy I spoke with earlier. Damon worked his magic, the kind of magic I have spoken about in my sermons. Somehow, Damon who speaks no Hindi, who didn’t even know that the language was called Hindi, was able to secure us a brand new spoon. Just another reason why Damon is here–we need spoons.

We were able to get Siddhi ready for the flight just in time. The flight was booked to the last seat. Everything is different in India. There is no such thing as personal space. I was actually surprised that someone gave up their seat for Laura who was holding Siddhi on the bus to the plane. We are all very close to each other. It was amazing to watch tiny Siddhi watch Pune disappear through the plane window. She was fascinated by everything. I also notice that every time Siddhi sees a small child that she is also fascinated. It probably reminds her of the orphanage and she feels safe. She realizes this bigger world has children too–maybe even a place for her. She falls back into Laura’s arms and dozes off a bit as the plane speeds along.

The flight to Pune was eventful. Laura, Damon and I were as tired as you can be. Up unto this point we had not had a real chance to be reminded of how tired we were. We are still jet-lagged. We still sleep like vampires during the day and are restless at night. Now we begin to realize the whirlwind is catching up to us. I nodded off and my head flopped around. We all had a good laugh. I was staying awake for the sake of my wife who needed help with Siddhi. Siddhi is the only one who is not tired. She is throwing toys around. Reaching for me. Snuggling into Laura. Playing with her new favorite toys. Giggling a bit. Giving us kisses. She made it a lot easier to stay awake. Imagine the joy if your newborn was able to instantly communicate with you in a very concrete way. That is how we feel with Siddhi. We just met her and yet she reciprocates our efforts. She rewards US with kisses and squeezes and smiles. It truly is an amazing thing.

As the flight went on, Damon fell asleep and his mouth was wide open with his tongue almost hanging out. I couldn’t resist. I took a stuffed elephant toy and put the trunk in Damon’s mouth. Funny thing was he didn’t wake up until the head was almost in his mouth. We all started to laugh again. We are very much punch drunk at this point. We are re-hashing old Battlestar Galactica jokes, new lines from our trip and the good times we have had as friends. Every joke makes us laugh unto tears. There is about 15 minutes left in our flight when the turbulence starts and the lightining flashes. Laura is freaked out. She is supposed to be my international flying, experienced rock of a wife. I am more like BA Baracus (MR. T from the A-Team) when it comes to flying–though I am mostly under control. Laura squeezes my hand with every rock of the plane. I am not as confident any more either in the skills of the pilot. We approach Delhi and the plane is very quiet. Our landing is probably the worst landing I remember. I wanted to shout to everyone to lean to the left as our plane skidded to the right. No one clapped at the end of this landing.

It was incredible to see a familiar face in the aiport. Gloria Shaw and our new friend Michael (who is studying to be pastor at New Delhi Bible Institute) are there to greet us. Gloria has become an old friend in the span of a few days. Michael greets us as brothers and sisters in Christ with a huge genuine smile and helps us with our bags. On the way back to our rooms we have great laughs about our trip as we share everything. At one point I shared with the group that everything has been so smooth. As the words come out of my mouth I can hear Michael in the back seat praising Jesus and saying a quick prayer. I was very moved by this. I just responded, “Amen.” You see, I know that when Gloria and the men at the Institute say they are praying that they are really praying. This was the first thing Gloria did with us as we arrived on our first night. We all sat down and prayed together. She really is an amazing woman and she and her husband are really doing an amazing work in India.

We decided to have a great authentic Indian meal so we stopped at McDonald’s before coming home for the night. You don’t order beef here so we ordered McChicken sandwiches. Not bad. The fries were also authentic. At this point we are walking zombies. Siddhi is asleep where ever we go. She is such a sweetie. We have noticed that wherever we go we receive all kinds of different looks. I can see why the orphanage paints the faces of orphans with makeup that is supposed to repell the “evil eye”. Everyone who sees us knows exactly what we are here to do. Many of the Indian nationals will approach us and talk to Siddhi and congratulate us. But there are many others who look at us as if we have done something wrong. Siddhi could care less. She just wants some sleep and seems confident in Laura in just 1 day.

The sun rises after we do in Delhi. Today is a big day at the Embassy. It is the last mission. We just need Siddhi’s visa and then we can relax. Our car arrives on time with our social worker. Madhu takes us to the US Embassy. It is very busy here. Damon notices that there are no American soldiers at the Embassy like in the movies. I feel bad that Damon has come along on this part because there are no camera’s allowed. The Embassy reminds us of the DMV. Laura says to Damon, “You are a good friend Damon for coming all the way to the other side of the world with us so we can go to the DMV.” Things do not go as planned. We need to have a piece of documentation that only a doctor can provide. So we are told that the visa will have to wait until the next day. The Embassy is very nice and very assuring that we will be able to accomplish the visa the following day.

We take Siddhi to the Doctor to get the paperwork we need. After they examine her medical history it becomes clear that Siddhi is in for it. She has not had six immunization shots that she needs before she can receive her visa. This is where our efficient American government comes into play. The shots she needs are neither required by India or the US (such as chicken pox). Yet our immigration offices do require them. Go figure. So in order to meet some out dated demands Siddhi must receive six shots in two days. Her first three shots were horrible. We have watched all of our children go through pain. It is horrible each time. The good part is that we feel the pain. We are emotionally attached to what she is going through–not as if she is some other child–but a deep parental connection is there for both of us. The shots are over and Siddhi melts into Laura’s arms again. She allows me to snuggle and kiss her. She doesn’t hold the shots against us.

Tomorrow is a big day–again. We are hoping the Embassy will send us through this time and that there won’t be any further delay.

Pastor Dan